Frequently Asked Questions
What Does Called To Peace Ministries do?
CALLED TO PEACE MINISTRIES EXISTS TO PROVIDE A COMPASSIONATE, COMPREHENSIVE, AND CHRIST-CENTERED RESPONSE TO THOSE IMPACTED BY DOMESTIC ABUSE.
We offer hope and healing to victims of domestic abuse, emotionally destructive relationships, and sexual assault by offering practical assistance and counsel to individuals affected by domestic abuse and educating organizations and helpers to better respond to these crises through education and mentoring. We believe God’s heart is for the oppressed and long to see the captives set free. (Isaiah 61:1-4)
Individuals affected by domestic abuse may experience many challenges, including: severe emotional and physical distress and confusion, lack of effective counseling, and basic necessities, such as housing, employment, childcare and transportation. Many choose to stay in abusive situations simply because of these obstacles. Therefore, CTPM seeks to connect individuals with resources to bridge the gap from crisis to normalcy. In addition, we offer support groups, advocacy and counseling to our clients.
Without proper knowledge and training those who desire to help victims of domestic abuse may unwittingly make matters worse. Therefore, CTPM offers educational seminars and training to help groups and organizations by giving them the knowledge necessary to help. As a ministry, we are particularly interested in coming alongside churches to help them better understand how to deal with this difficult issue. Statistics show that domestic abuse is no less prevalent in the church than in society at large, and that Christian victims tend to stay in dangerous situations an average of 3.5 years longer. In addition, a majority of Christian victims reach out to their faith leaders first, only to find counsel that treats abuse as a marital issue (which it isn’t). Without knowledge, people perish (Hos. 4:6), and CTPM exists to help change that. We offer quarterly community-wide workshops on domestic abuse and biennial conferences in the Raleigh, NC area, but we are also willing to speak to your church or small group.
CTPM also offers a one-year, in-depth advocacy curriculum for anyone who wishes to become better equipped to handle the multiple complexities that often arise in domestic abuse situations. Click here to learn more.
What Services do you offer?
- Advocacy to give survivors options to navigate their difficult choices. Contact us.
- Crisis Counseling
- Support Groups (Online and Nationwide)
- Healing Retreats (e/o year for survivors)
Do you offer any sort of financial aid?
We have an emergency fund which covers the cost of crisis counseling and at times other practical assistance like medical bills, rent, utilities, transportation, groceries, and childcare to survivors who have long term connections to CTPM. We also offer scholarships to any survivors who cannot afford our events or materials. At Christmas, we partner with community volunteers to help single moms and their children have presents under the tree. Unfortunately, we cannot provide help with legal fees.
Can or will an abusive spouse change?
At CTPM we do believe that abusive men can change; however, it tends to be quite rare for a few reasons.
- Ineffective intervention. Often, well-meaning counselors and pastors approach domestic abuse as a marital problem (it’s not), and put undue pressure on the victims to save the marriage. This usually just fuels abusers’ tendency to blame their spouses for everything.
- Even with expert help, abusive people are often unwilling to give up their desire to be in control. Beneath the desire for control, we find that most abusive people operate out of a sense of pride and entitlement. They believe it is their right to mistreat their spouses and even view them as inferior.
To learn more about abuser intervention, click here.
If a loved one is being abused, should I step in and try to intervene?
Intervention should be done with caution and sensitivity. There are very few instances where this ends well for all parties involved if not handled properly. In most cases, if not handled properly, this can create more isolation for the victim, or even the complete shutting off of your relationship. Watch the video below, check out our resource page, and contact us to learn more about how to help your loved ones.
To learn more about how to help or hurt a victim, click here.
How can I help my Church understand?
A. Be prepared that your church may not understand initially and resist the urge to lash out in anger or over explain yourself. This will likely cause an undereducated church to view you in a negative light or as part of the problem.
B. Contact us to be connected with an advocate. (link) Our trained advocates can help you prepare for your meeting, and possibly attend to assist you.
C. Contact Jim Upchurch, our Church Partnership Liaison, and he can reach out to your church and have a pastor to pastor conversation.
D. When meeting with your pastor/church,
- Give educational information about abuse. Use resources from people they trust. They will be more willing to listen to pastors or teachers they already respect. (Church Intervention Playlist)
- Document abuse in a secure/safe way if possible.
- Avoid vague terms and general language when describing abuse. Use concrete, specific language to describe abusive behavior (ie. What specific words/phrases does he use? What does he do when he’s angry? How does he exert control over you?
- Be clear and specific about what you need from the pastor and the church. (Do you need help with housing, child care, other practical resources, protection, etc? (Video: How to Approach your Pastor (Jim Upchurch)
E. Even with the best preparation, there are no guarantees your church will understand. If your church is causing you more harm than good, it may be time to consider other options.
Click here to read how one survivor was deeply hurt by how the church mistreated her after she reported domestic abuse.
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