For me, the past year has been a year of intense shaking. It hasn’t been quite as traumatic as “the great shaking” that occurred 20 years ago when I finally became a disciple rather than a mere believer, but it has been extremely difficult. I have grieved, I have questioned God, I have questioned myself, and I have come to realize that I bring nothing to the table in my relationship with the Most High. He is my strength and source—He is simply everything to me. The thought of life without Him is beyond dreadful. How do people do it? Sometimes when you have walked with God for a long time, you tend to get complacent. You forget that you depend on Him for everything. You take his blessings for granted, as though they are inevitable. They are not.
Nothing on this side of eternity is constant, only He is. I am sure He allows these times of shaking to teach us complete and utter dependence. After all, what else is there to hold onto when all the temporary things are being shaken? Not only is He the sole constant in life, He is the only all good and all loving one in the universe. He can be trusted. I can lay all my burdens and failures at his feet and wait for his amazing redemption. He has given beauty for ashes and turned mourning into dancing on multiple occasions in my life. I am so grateful to be his child. I would not trade that with all the pleasant circumstances in the world. After all they will simply fade away.
So right now, even though life remains difficult, I am putting my armor on, and I am fighting the battle in the strength He gives. I am boldly holding on to the One who is worthy, and trusting him for the good purpose He intends in the midst of this mess. Part of this upheaval has been to direct me towards a ministry that has been on my heart for years. The call has become stronger than ever this year, but I have found myself saying it’s just too big. This morning while reading The Circle Maker, I came across this. “Too often we let how get in the way of what God wants us to do. We can’t figure out how to do what God has called us to do, so we don’t do it at all” (p. 49). That’s exactly what I’ve done until this year when I stepped back from a sure income to a less demanding business in order to launch a ministry– although I still have no idea of how it will happen. This year He has shown me that just about everything in life is impossible without his amazing grace and providence. I have to live in complete dependence on him for everything. So if I am going to believe him for something small, I might as well believe for something big. For him, everything is possible, and though it seems big to me, it’s nothing for him. I don’t just believe, but I know He is at work. I am waiting, and I know I will not be disappointed, because He is so good!
His voice shook the earth at that time, but now He has promised, Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also heaven. This expression, “Yet once more,” indicates the removal of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what is not shaken might remain. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us hold on to grace. By it, we may serve God acceptably, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire. Heb. 12:26-29
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Pet. 5:6-10